Super Paper Mario: Saffron & Dyllis Super Show #13: Standard Chocolate

 Standard Chocolate is made with MILD COCOA BEAN and POISON SHROOM

Alcohol is a poison! So ive got this bottle of vodka lyin around. Maybe I should make it kind of a truffle/ganache thing with a splash of milk and sugar. I dunno.

So this chocolate is for some reason in a weird mask shape. I don't have a weird face shape moul- OHOHOHO YOU UNDERESTIMATED ME, I DO INFACT HAVE A STUPID MOULD WITH A FACE I HAVE A LEGO MAN LETS GO

melting it in a mug with a wok of hot water like god intended

In it goes, doesnt matter how messy it is

Shit i fucked up ok i just stopped and had a rational thought for once and you cant pop soft ganache out of a mould and have it keep a shape what i was i thinking

NEW PLAN to salvage this, we keep the vodka chocolate ganache, melt some plain chocolate and harden that in the mould, and then tip the ganache inside.

*****

Hell yeah nailed it, I YASSIFIED it even. Now I have an irresponsibly large portion of boozy chocolate to eat.

Super Paper Mario: Saffron & Dyllis Super Show #12: Lovely Chocolate

 Lovely Chocolate is made from MILD COCOA BEAN and FIRE BURST

Another barely qualifies as cooking job but we're gonna combine some chocolate with some cayenne pepper powder for a lil' FIRE BURSTY and ive found a chocolate mould with heart shapes

Oh this chocolate is old. plus ive kept it in the cupboard above my toaster so its hella bloomed. Melting it should fix that though.

Yeah this is working! Anythings a bain-marie if its heatproof enough.

once its melted i add a generous sprinkle of pepper. that might be quite a lot actually oop.

In it goes! Now I just leave it at room temp for a day. I don't have any tiny pink ribbons to mess with so we'll just have to deal.

****

It's hot!!!

Super Paper Mario: Saffron & Dyllis Super Show #11: Sap Muffin

 Sap Muffin is made from CAKE MIX and SAP SOUP

I keep wanting to be lazy and buy an instant cake mix but it turns out finding instant cake mix is like actually harder than just making a batter myself with basic shit so here we go. I found a recipe online and halved it and replaced the yogurt and salt with some really salty butter. And as for SAP SOUP, what is it? Well it comes from an enemy that looks like a sunflower, so im gonna say something made from sunflower kernels. So I skipped ahead to recipe #45 where we make SAP SYRUP and youll have to wait for that to see me briefly make this unholy sunflower seed based frosting you see here.

Flour, egg, baking powder, bic o' soda, sugar, sunflower oil (more sunflower!), milk, butter, and vanilla essence. All whizzed together.

Lubing up these silicone cases with more sunfloil. They are quite massive which means LESS HASSLE overall.

This is the stickest, goopiest batter ive ever made. We're lucky i got most of it in the cases honestly.

Looking good! I also just noticed the graphic has a weird little stick, luckily I have some pretzels which are perfect.

****

OK so i'm not sure why I thought a coating made from ground up sunflower seeds wouldn't look like oatmeal gruel?? Did I think anything??? Besides that though, the muffin was shockingly perfectly cooked like was just a really nice, moist and consistent vanilla muffin. The subtle flavour of sunflower comes through so it was worth the effort. Would I make it again though? hell naw because who wants a muffin that doesnt slap you in the face with melted chunks of chocolate or lemon and blueberry or suchlike?

Super Paper Mario: Saffron & Dyllis Super Show #10: Town Special

 Town Special is made with PRIMORDIAL FRUIT

I was thinking about using figs for this since they are one of the oldest fruits(?), but i blinked and they went out of season plus I dunno if id make a decent meal out of them so heres a primordial fruit for ya instead: SQUASH

Hnng trying to saw one of these in half is a whole ordeal. But we got it! Scooped out the seeds and we're going to add a nice fruity and rustic theme with the seasoning. First we score it and brush it with cooking oil. Then i've got fresh rosemary, dried cranberries, pine nuts, salt, allspice, peppercorns and pomegranate molasses.

Just like that i guess, then its ready to go in the oven for about 1hr! Other half is saved for a later recipe.

*****

This is really good! Im really pleased with the seasoning it all pairs super well. Kind of a side dish though.

Super Paper Mario: Saffron & Dyllis Super Show #9: Koopa Dumpling

Koopa Dumpling is made with CAKE MIX and TURTLEY LEAF

Let's start with the cake mix, I decided to use a recipe for bao bread even though im probably going to bake these in the oven because idk, im just such a bastard. Anyway we are going to mix flour, milk, yeast, a tablespoon of sugar, sunflower oil, rice vinegar, a pinch of salt. I actually missed in the recipe where they use the baking powder so forget that's there. It's already got yeast anyway?

OH lawd this shits intense, the crappy food dye (sorry dr oetker but ur shit is weak) wont mix easily and the dough is so tough because I used bread flour to make bread what a dingus.

Well we have SOMETHING now we let this prove for a bit

thats worked!

OK now here's our TURTLEY LEAF: all the leaves! I'm mixing some ricotta with spinach, parsley, dill, and a bit of mint from my garden.

Like this! Oh and theres some salt and pepper in there too.

Ugh UGH stuffing these things is a fucking nightmare. Now I know why they use mozzarella in dough and ricotta in like ravioli and shit. These are so ratch. And yeah I had some little bento smiley cutter so i used that on some radishes for the little faces. I know these arent that bad but this has big "you tried" energy and you should have seen how much i hated making these. In the oven they go for about 15min

I guess it sort of worked though, heres a bonus pic of the insides before we move on to the scoring.

***

The cheese and herbs were a really legit combination though I wish i put some garlic powder and/or onions in there as well. The dough was a bit heavy im not great at making bread generally because I always make up some bullshit like this. Visually these look like horrible little halloween bulbasaurs. But on some level i feel like the recipe was in the spirit of whatever a koopa dumpling is. It tasted all rustic herb-y and its green and weird. That feels right.

Super Paper Mario: Saffron & Dyllis Super Show #8: Awesome Snack

 Awesome Snack is made with FRESH VEGGIE and CAKE MIX

Boom veggie, boom cake mix. I think you know where this is going (not a sex joke not a sex joke)

Sliced the courgette and stirred the batter

Then we just dip em and drop em in the deep fryer.

****

An Awesome Snack! A crispy, crunchy... well not that crispy they were a lil soggy, maybe I should have tried to dry the courgettes in the oven or cooked them longer. But still really tasty!

Super Paper Mario: Saffron & Dyllis Super Show #7: Electro Pop

 Electro Pop is made with just THUNDER RAGE. I'll check if I have some in the cupboard.

whoopee!

I was originally going to try and fumble someshit with fondant or something but it just so happens i actually acquired a flat lollipop at a halloween party! So i'm dipping it in hot water and trying to stick the licorice lace to it with sheer force of will, then i will shove the lemon sherbet in the gaps please wish me a swift and merciful death

*

This is really more like a craft project than a recipe. And naturally it barely held together. The sherbet tasted nice and all but really all I did was turn 2 perfectly good sweets into 1 slightly more annoying sweet. I think you can tell by now my heart really isnt into being a confectioner.

Super Paper Mario: Saffron & Dyllis Super Show #6: Honey Candy

 Honey Candy is just made from HONEY JAR and some good ol' fashioned hustling.

So i've heard if you heat sugar or honey up enough it will just like, go hard when it dries? So im trying that.

We do NOT have a candy thermometer and we do NOT have a care.

These are NOT non-stick casings and I have NOT thought this through.

*

These didn't go hard and I probably didn't heat them enough. At least I can drop them in a cup of tea. If I want boiled sweets i'll just buy them! Sorry that wasn't very Cash Mario of me but its how I feel.