When you see this, you'll flap your jacks.

OK so sorry I didn't really remember to take any pics of the process but I made some awesome flapjacks on saturday and I think they were rad

I melted 1/4 of a pack of butter, and an almost entire small jar of honey into a big mixing bowl, and then poured in a shit load of oats until it was neither liquidy nor crumbly, but a thick sticky mass of oats. Then my assassin assistant Ninja Ned chopped up dark chocolate and some sweet dried cranberries and added them to the mix. Then I spread it all out on a baking tray, and topped it with pumpkin seeds. Then I put it in the oven for 20 minutes.

The fabled art of nomjutsu.

Opinion: Rad.

Just Cous.

Mode: 2 Player
Hardware: Oven
Accessories: Water

 I got given some moroccan style couscous mix for my birthday. TRUE STORY. Let's make something cool with it becouscouscouscouscouscous I can.

1:1 ratio of vegetables to meat. That's the westerners way.

I put the couscous in a pan with boiled water to cook. It won't take long at all so I better hurry up and prepare everything else!

Pink plastic bowl is trippy.

Mixed and egg, lemon juice and some parsley chopped as finely as I could.

Yeah my kitchens that messy today.

This is the best way to make breadcrumbs. Get a really stale old piece of bread that somehow isn't mouldy (possibly ask a wizard) and grate it with a cheese grater. I butterfly the chicken fillets and coat them in the egg/lemon/parsley mix and then cover them in breadcrumbs. It's kinda like as a kid when you'd put pritt stick across a piece of paper and then bathe it in glitter and then you'd just have this hideous sparkly mess on a piece of paper that you thought was neato.

Your cous is cooked! Nyahaaaar

By this time the couscous mix is ready, so I cut the pepper in half, remove the seedy bit and cram them full of cous. Then I bung both the chicken and the stuffed peppers in the oven for 25mins

Dear family: Still not too old for ketchup on everything.

Post-Mortem: ***** This was great! People should really stuff vegetables more, it looks really classy and it's incredibly easy. Literally all you do is take a food and put it in another food and suddenly you feel like Gordon Ramsay but less face surgery.

Neato Burrito

Mode: 2-4 Player
Hardware: Pan
Accessories: Mango Soda

Disclaimer: I am really tired and I had a lot of party things yesterday and forgot to write this up till 11pm 3 days later.

Today (3 days ago) I am making MIXED BEAN AND BEEF MINCE BURRITOS I guess. What's the difference between a burrito and a fajta? Is it just that they fold those things at the bottom?

Hey look ingredients.

Onion, yellow pepper, beef mince in the pan go go go.

If you dont have convenient spice mixes you are on your own.

Decided to add these season mixes which I have.

Underwhelming amounts of corn.

When that stuff was starting to look all cooked, I added sweetcorn, a tablespoon of tomato puree and a can of mixed beans in chili sauce, which really adds to the flavour.

Flattering myspace glamour angle.

Grated some cheese and shredded some lettuce to go into the thingy with the stuff.

It's blurry because of the speed not because I'm parkinsons mcgee yep.

THIS IS WHAT BURRITO LOOKS LIKE OK?

Pictures of sombero, maracas, cactus etc.

Post-mort: **** GOOD EATING WITH THE FLAVOURS AND NUTRIENTS.

Stew can play at that game.

Mode: 2-4 Player
Hardware: Your deepest pan.
Accessories: Cola

'I think my imagination's broke. Let me try and come up with the best thing ever: Beef.... Stew. Yup, it's busted alright.' - Strong Bad

A leaf and some mud that I convinced you were real ingredients.

First, have like 2 hours to kill on a sunday evening. Start with a bayleaf and a beef stock cube, and boiled water.

Les pommes cubes.

Peel 2 big potatoes, and chop them into little cubes like so. As well as 2 big carrots into chunky half-discs.

Irish catholics consider raw stew to appear indecent.

Put in the beef strips I had in the freezer, potatoes and carrots. Had this on a high-ish heat to make sure the beef would cook through.

Spicy Italian with a perfect shake. Also indecent.

Put in this mixture of spices. Got a tiny bit of black onion (I'm just using it cause its new) some spicy italian style mix, and plenty of oregano and ground pepper.

Would you believe I played Cooking Mama 3 in the mean time?

Oh, also a wadge of garlic. Turned it down to medium and let it cook for an hour.

Ketchup is a viable alternative to ever buying tomatoes.

An hour later, everything was starting to feel more.. mushy. I added plenty of ketchup and some worcestershire sauce to make it sweeter and tomatoeyer.

Reader challenge: Can you see any religious icons if you squint?

I added some frozen peas, and let it cook on a low heat for 30 more mins.

Looks like vomit, tastes like good vomit.

Post-Mortem: ***** I'm on a roll with the good meals lately. The beef and potatoes were totally tender and the soup was meaty and rich. Stew is great.

Cinnamon Chocolate Cupcakes

Just a quick lil' bonus thing. I had some leftover soybutter cinnamon icing from the Harry Potter cakes, so for a movie night this weekend I made some dairy free chocolate cupcakes. They were good. Hooray!

Malay way or the Thai way.

Mode: 2 Player
Hardware: Steamer, pans, tupperware.
Accessories: Cup of coffee

Had a mostly full can of coconut milk leftover from the cakes. I figured I better find something to do with it before it expired and probably stank up my fridge, if coconut milk even does that, I actually don't know.

Yet.

Anyway, so I decided to make a coconut-based curry sauce and save it in the fridge for later. I quickly looked at the ingredients for a Thai green curry, and figured I could bodge together something along those lines.

Concentrated lemongrass is like a lemon party in your mouth.

In a brilliant twist, I had also gotten given some fancy pastes and spices for my birthday, and that included a nice little jar of concentrated lemongrass. So I heated up a pan, added some oil (this is gonna be dairy free, kids) and added all the coconut milk, a small teaspoon of lemongrass, a teaspoon of pickled ginger (that I chopped up) all my leftover spring onions, a couple pinches of chicken stock and a pinch of pepper.

I don't even like regular marmalade.

Now, all of the recipes seemed to cite using fresh lime leaves or lime zest. I don't have either of those things. But what I do have is this jar of lemon and lime marmalade that I also used for aforementioned baking. That will also take care of the sweetening aspect, so I don't need to add a tsp of sugar.

When you're finished with it? Discardamom.

Feeling like a bit of cardamom might help make this taste more curry-like, but I didn't want to be trying to fish cardamom pods out of an opaque liquid. So I tried crushing them up, and then putting them in a TEA INFUSER and dropping that in the pan. Some women in their early 20s experiment with lesbianism, but for me, it's unadvised kitchen practices.

Now you're imagining unadvised lesbian kitchen practices.

I reduced it down to a saucy state, and put it in the fridge for later.

*LATER OCCURS*

Now it's Monday, and my flatmate is back so it's time to cook something non-dairy and non-half-assed-bowl-of-mashed-up-leftovers for dinner.

The spatula was also a birthday present. Thanks Bro!

Put some white rice in the steamer, and fried up some chicken and onions. Once that was cooked I added in the sauce. I couldn't help but notice my Thai curry didn't have little green bits in it. I didn't have any shredded lime leaves or whatever, so I added peas instead.

Peas: the other green.

Lookin' good, ladies.

Chicken and rice are definitely lesbians.

Post-mortem: ***** Even better than I expected! I've never tried something like this before, it definitely tasted like a good sauce with a nice blend of flavours. So lesson learned: don't discount putting lime marmalade and tea strainers into things.