Stardew Valley #35: Tortilla

Ingredients: Corn

Item Description: Can be used as a vessel for food or eaten by itself.

So when they say you need corn for this recipe, what you really need is a big bag of masa harina. And like, i probably could order some from a specialty store...? Or I could just find some corn tortillas in the big tesco which I did.

 

This wont be completely cooking-free, as a good tortilla should really be toasted a lil' bit 

**

Hmm I mean its edible on its own, but its very plain if you ask me. I guess a homemade one might have been better to eat on its own.. BUT IT SAYS I CAN USE IT AS A VESSEL FOR FOOD IN THE DESCRIPTION

SO I actually had it with some leftover homemade doner kebab instead. Better!

Chilli'd to the Bone

Mode: 2-4 Player
Hardware: Pans
Accessories: HOT Chocolate.

Euch, have I ever mentioned how much I hate winter? You do the whole Christmas thing, which is cool, but then after that you realise that you've got like 2 more months of that shit, and then 3 more months of people telling you it's spring now, and you seeing absolutely no evidence of that because it's still cold as balls.

Anyway, this is LITERALLY the best thing to make in winter. It suits both the 24-hour narcoleptic level tiredness you feel, and the desire to cram yourself with searing hot and spicy red meat and carbs. Who would have thought the mexicans knew so much about european winter? 'Cause it's Mexican beef and bean chilli.

Baby button sounds weird.

Beef mince, Mushrooms, 1 Carrot, 1 red onion, and my super special ingredient, a tin of mixed beans in a CHILLI SAUCE. For vegetarians, you can do exactly the same but without the beef. You won't even miss it.

You won't be all 'where's the beef?' Because that's old.

So we start with dicing and frying the beef, onion and carrot, with a helping of crushed garlic in there.

Second worst hot chocolate ever.

Now I dissolved spices in some hot water to make a stock. If I can remember what's in there... probably everything. But especially these things: Beef stock, black pepper, chilli powder (depending on how spicy you like it) and yes, cocoa powder. Trust me, I know what i'm doing.

It'll grow out of the grunge phase.

Add the mushrooms now, and reduce this a little cause it's kinda soupy. You could start making some white rice now to go on the side.

Kidney beans, lung beans, um.. pancreas beans?

Now add the special ingredients and cackle ominously, but not too loud because that's annoying and we're trying to watch TV.

Second best hot chocolate ever.

Keep reducing it until it gets to a pleasing thickness. If you haven't got all day, give up at some point and just pretend its meant to be more of a stew type thing.

Stick it in your chilli con crannies.

Post-Mortem: **** It was a little soupier and less spicy than intended, but then some people prefer a mild chilli. It's hard to cause displeasure with a chilli. Does anyone out there honestly dislike it? Well keep it to yourself, because I don't know you and I don't care.

Neato Burrito

Mode: 2-4 Player
Hardware: Pan
Accessories: Mango Soda

Disclaimer: I am really tired and I had a lot of party things yesterday and forgot to write this up till 11pm 3 days later.

Today (3 days ago) I am making MIXED BEAN AND BEEF MINCE BURRITOS I guess. What's the difference between a burrito and a fajta? Is it just that they fold those things at the bottom?

Hey look ingredients.

Onion, yellow pepper, beef mince in the pan go go go.

If you dont have convenient spice mixes you are on your own.

Decided to add these season mixes which I have.

Underwhelming amounts of corn.

When that stuff was starting to look all cooked, I added sweetcorn, a tablespoon of tomato puree and a can of mixed beans in chili sauce, which really adds to the flavour.

Flattering myspace glamour angle.

Grated some cheese and shredded some lettuce to go into the thingy with the stuff.

It's blurry because of the speed not because I'm parkinsons mcgee yep.

THIS IS WHAT BURRITO LOOKS LIKE OK?

Pictures of sombero, maracas, cactus etc.

Post-mort: **** GOOD EATING WITH THE FLAVOURS AND NUTRIENTS.

Fajitastic

Mode: 2-player

Hardware: Pan

Accessories: Cola



Back from badminton, today we make FAJITAS. Did you know that fajita is 20% more hilarious if you pronounce it like 'fadge-eye-ta'? Because it sounds like vagina. Man I'm so good at teaching you guys about culture and stuff.

Lube up your FINEST WOK. No second best-sies unless the best ones pending a wash or you lent it to someone and it MYSTERIOUSLY DISSAPEARED in which case it's a write-off, don't kid yourself. Loosely chop up chicken fillets, onion, red pepper and the obligatory spare vegetable you have around, mine's mangetout peas.

Here's my lineup of spices, notice how I'm sorta god-modeing it a little with a 'fajita' mix there, I don't know whats in that. Probably just more cajun. Go heavy on the oregano and cajun, and easy on the nutmeg and black pepper. If you have any chilli sauce, that's also a good plan, though don't worry about the dryness, that's what relishes are for.

While that stuff cooks, chop up some lettuce, cucumber and cheese, and assemble a force of relishes from your cupboard. If you REALLY don't have any, ketchup is always a last resort.

I like to heat the flour tortillas on the stove very quickly and gently, so that they go warm but not crispy or else they'll be terrible to wrap. Then the meat mix goes on, then the vegetable garnishes, then some splodges of sauce there. I have branston's 'hot chilli and jalapeno', and 'tomato, curryspice and peri-peri' Someone should really cut me an advertising deal.

Post-Mortem: ***** As that weird elvis advisor guy in Civilisation II once said. 'No complaints, noble leader.' Also dear Nando's adverts, take note: I just did a whole dissertation on mexican food WITHOUT ANY RACISM.