Chilli'd to the Bone

Mode: 2-4 Player
Hardware: Pans
Accessories: HOT Chocolate.

Euch, have I ever mentioned how much I hate winter? You do the whole Christmas thing, which is cool, but then after that you realise that you've got like 2 more months of that shit, and then 3 more months of people telling you it's spring now, and you seeing absolutely no evidence of that because it's still cold as balls.

Anyway, this is LITERALLY the best thing to make in winter. It suits both the 24-hour narcoleptic level tiredness you feel, and the desire to cram yourself with searing hot and spicy red meat and carbs. Who would have thought the mexicans knew so much about european winter? 'Cause it's Mexican beef and bean chilli.

Baby button sounds weird.

Beef mince, Mushrooms, 1 Carrot, 1 red onion, and my super special ingredient, a tin of mixed beans in a CHILLI SAUCE. For vegetarians, you can do exactly the same but without the beef. You won't even miss it.

You won't be all 'where's the beef?' Because that's old.

So we start with dicing and frying the beef, onion and carrot, with a helping of crushed garlic in there.

Second worst hot chocolate ever.

Now I dissolved spices in some hot water to make a stock. If I can remember what's in there... probably everything. But especially these things: Beef stock, black pepper, chilli powder (depending on how spicy you like it) and yes, cocoa powder. Trust me, I know what i'm doing.

It'll grow out of the grunge phase.

Add the mushrooms now, and reduce this a little cause it's kinda soupy. You could start making some white rice now to go on the side.

Kidney beans, lung beans, um.. pancreas beans?

Now add the special ingredients and cackle ominously, but not too loud because that's annoying and we're trying to watch TV.

Second best hot chocolate ever.

Keep reducing it until it gets to a pleasing thickness. If you haven't got all day, give up at some point and just pretend its meant to be more of a stew type thing.

Stick it in your chilli con crannies.

Post-Mortem: **** It was a little soupier and less spicy than intended, but then some people prefer a mild chilli. It's hard to cause displeasure with a chilli. Does anyone out there honestly dislike it? Well keep it to yourself, because I don't know you and I don't care.