Delicious in Dungeon #9: Naturally Delicious Treasure Insect Snacks

Danger! Deception! Treasure! Insects!

So i tried to get a bunch of shiny and colourful fruits for this.. I got strawberries, blueberries, white grapes (cotton candy variety) and to really sell it, a packet of mini gems which is a classic british gummi sweet.

And I guess we're just gonna... throw em all together and try to jam them? I've just followed my instincts and done a couple handfuls of the fruit and a handful of the sweets. I think we want a very rough and lumpy jam, so ill just see how this goes. If it's anything like cranberry sauce itll sort of break down. 

Adding a bit of water and a few tablespoons of sugar. It doesn't really have to be proper jam, in fact maybe it'd be better if it doesnt set or break down too much...? after all, I want it to be sorta runny for the next recipe actually..? Maybe we want more like a kinda coulis type thing..? 

Its getting quite frisky already, don't want to dye my whole kitchen purple so ill let it simmer for an hour or so.

Ah but it's not just jam we're making, we got another whole variety of snacks to make! For the centipede skewers im going with grapes, and then...

My secret weapon, some sort of food safe pearlescent cake lustre i got years ago.

Hmm it says its meant to be all rainbow, but it kind of just looks dusty and white to me. I expected a bit more shimmer and sparkle... I guess maybe theres a slight shimmer to it? Still, i don't hate the effect.

For the coin bug crackers...im just giving myself a break!! I've bought some rice cracker discs that look perfect.

I've held back some fruits so that we can hopefully add some colour and shapes back into the jam jar at the end... if that even matters.

And of course, that homemade bread I made last recipe! I actually put them in the freezer already cause theyll go stale in like 1 day. So i've got one out and microwaved it.

****

Mmm! Kind of a strange meal to have. Very sweet and heavy. No surprises here, but the jam tastes kind of gummy-sweet-ish... a strange mixture of berries, grapes and weird vegetable starches used in the sweets. Tangy enough to balance out the sweetness and goes great with the bread. It's not set like a proper jam but its satisfyingly thick as a sauce, so just like how I wanted it. The skewers were sweet and fine, and the crackers (sweet chilli flavour) were a delicious and welcome savoury side.

I agree with Senshi's complaints that it doesn't really feel like a balanced meal. But i'm pleased with the result on every front.

Delicious in Dungeon #8: Freshly Stolen Vegetables and Chicken Stewed with Cabbage Accompanied by Plundered Bread

 That title sure is a mouthful... and so is this recipe! Buckle up.

Bloody orcs in my kitchen plundering all my veg. And whats that, yeast? What do you want yeast for?

Fine I will make bread... pray for me im bad at bread.

Using a simple online recipe, we add strong bread flour (500g flour to 7g of yeast! Thats gonna make a lot..) 2tsp salt, and then warm water and 3tbsp of olive oil. Im using proper olive oil this time, the good stuff.

Mix it up with the dough hooks, knead it a bit by hand, and then ive started this a day early so i can leave this to prove overnight in the fridge!

here it is the next day, cool. I guess i just knead it a lil more and then roll it into balls...

I want to make it a tear and share style loaf like what senshi makes... i don't know how much these will expand, is that spaced out enough? We'll find out.

Right while thats in the oven we've got more action for the oven! I got a tub of chicken wings, and i'll season them myself. Brushing them with more oil. The recipe says they use salt & pepper and cayenne pepper, ill add those and also some smoked paprika because I think that will go a long way to a "red pepper" flavour.

I'm grilling these instead of stewing them with the veg. They're served in top so it just makes sense to me, i can make sure they cook properly, keep their shape and get a nice crisp skin.

Right, now it's time for that plundered veg! There's quite a bit, I got 3/4 of a cabbage left over from last recipe, 2 onions and 2 carrots. And for the crepes, I don't want to make crepes... ISNT COOKING 3 THINGS AT ONCE ENOUGH!? instead I want to use delicious corn tortillas. That sounds easier AND better. 

Chopping it not too small so we get some decent crunchy strips to fill out the tortillas. Half the cabbage and 2 onions. Yep thats already a lot.. a lot of veg that gives me gas... ill try and crisp it up a bit before i add water to stew it.

The carrots in there as well, and then im seasoning it with the same stuff as the chicken (salt, pepper, cayenne pepper, paprika) and plenty of it.

I'm also just finely chopping the last 1/4 of the cabbage, as the manga shows the crepes garnished with some sort of extra raw greens. I can also probably use the rest for something else later.

Oh and now for my secret cheats weapon. This is a big meal, so I kinda want it to be... yknow, flavourful and good. And also use up some leftovers in my fridge! So i'm using a leftover half-jar of "smoky tomato & pepper pasta sauce" and a heaped teaspoon of pickled garlic. I think this is well within the vibes and spirit of orc cooking, leaning into the smoky pepper and homecooked flavours. Oh don't forget to add a bunch of water as well, its a stew not a stir fry!

When everythings almost done, I pop the crepes tortillas in the oven just for like a minute to heat them up.

Oh right the bread!! remember we were making bread as well? I sure didn't, my whole kitchen is as hot as an oven right now. Why did we even need to make bread with this when theres tortillas? Plot reasons... Also I guess these have stayed fairly spaced out and not merged very much, but thats fine too. They look a bit tough, but cooked through.

After stewing for aaages on the hob, this is looking right!!

Chickens done too, its all coming together! I've also sliced a single pickle for the garnish in the picture.

Bread check! Looks reasonable.

*****

What a beast of a meal! I'm so tired. I almost wanted to mark it down for how hard I had to work for it, but......... damn it, i gotta admit... it tastes amazing. The wraps, wings and bread roll create a very feast-like sensory experience, as its really best to eat with your hands (apart from scooping the veg into your tortilla!) enjoying a wet crunchy taco, nibbling the meat off a wing, and then tearing up the bread roll to mop up the excess juice from the stew.

Maybe, unlike me, you should make this when you have a few other people around to do some of the work. A couple of hot orc babes maybe?

Delicious in Dungeon #7: Golem Field Fresh Veggie Lunch

Off to the patch to check on my vegetable-growing golems!

What, they're a bit small? They're vegetable growing rock dudes aren't they?

That's quite the haul! I don't know how they do it. We've got a whole savoy cabbage, some small potatoes, onions, radishes (i couldnt find turnips), and some grocery store carrots AND small carrots w/greens from my herb garden! And some basilisk bacon.

This isn't smoked bacon its just raw basilisk belly so im going to grill them for a bit before I stew them. Cooking them in simple seasoning instead of a thick bbq glaze feels so wrong... but ill allow myself to brush them with some oil and use a more interesting season mix then, which has salt, pepper, and a bit of lemon zest and garlic too.

I'll just use a quarter of this then, and im cutting out the solid core because I'm already a bit cabbage-sensitive. 

Chopping the potatoes and onion into largeish chunks. 

And most of the big carrots, though ill save the thinnest bits to use in the side salad.

And they just go in a big stewing pot with a good amount of water, and some simple salt & pepper seasoning. That's it! Not even a stock cube..

While the meat is grilling and the veg are stewing, we make a little side salad. Here's the leaves and the tiny little carrots... they might not be very ripe, they taste more bitter than the store ones. I'll just bin the middle stalks, this is crunchy enough.

Then the chopped up radishes, see, if you ask me they make even more sense for the salad than a massive turnip. This is supposedly dressed with just olive oil... but thats a bit.. eh... i really want to use a bit of vinegar for an extra kick, and im using a mix of olive oil and lavender infused oil.

stir that up, and it looks pretty good!

Now that the meat is cooked enough, I can throw it in the pot and hope it still infuses the stew with a bit of porky broth flavour. I just didn't really want to fully cook it from raw this way, I dunno. Gotta play it safe right? The meat and the veg have both had a good 30 mins to cook on their own and an extra 10 mins simmering together. The water in the stew has started to look a nice translucent beige which is a good sign.

****

I'm pretty biased against plain simple foods and vegetable soups... but... I gotta admit this is really quite good. The broth has a wonderful flavour, it'll be right up your street if you like steamed broccoli and/or pork ramen. The range of textures and flavours from the different vegetables is very pleasing... it tastes so cleansing and hydrating. The side salad adds a wonderful crunch with the carrot greens, but I would have much preferred a different dressing - like honey mustard or ranch or something. I didn't much like the basic oil dressing on bitter vegetables.

Delicious in Dungeon #6: Living Armor Full Course Meal

This one's several meals in one! The living armor is cooked in 4 different ways, but im going to cut it down to 3 because the grilled and steamed ones are effectively the same, with one being better than the other.

Haha idiot, you've been toppled. But its a hollow victory, as there's nothing in this armor...

OR IS THERE!??!

I've never cooked oysters before, and I also got these at an incredible discount close to the sell by date (lucky!) and frozen them so im not going to take any chances, ill probably just grill them all the same way and the incorporate them into the dishes.

After cleaning and defrosting them in warm water they were really easy to open with a butter knife... i thought it was a whole technique I might have to battle with but nah, its just a big clam aint it? Or maybe its harder when they're alive which... i dont want to do.

The recipe says to season them with soy sauce, vinegar and salt. Fancy ingredients so might as well bust out the fancy soy sauce.

Just a little dash of each... soy sauce is already salty, I hope i didn't oversalt them. I hate over-salted seafood. And they're ready to go in the oven while I make all the other stuff.

For the dwarf style stir fry, I've got some medicinal kale from my garden! Which the aphids have really been going to town on, I scrubbed off a lot of bugs... Whatever, we're already eating weird stuff.  For the detox herb ill use brown onion, and for the SPECIAL SAUCE i've got something special in mind! A massive bottle of tamarind sauce i bought on a whim a while back. It's kinda like brown sauce I guess? Sour, spicy and sweet.

Chopped the kale up a bit smaller and I think just half an onion sliced into strips will do.

Adding more ingredients! I want to add a bit of sesame oil to the frying for a cheeky bit of extra stir fry flavour. 

Oh and my secret back up weapon! Since there weren't that many oysters I thought i'd pad out the stir fry with a handful of mussel meat as well.

the onion and mussels can go in first for a bit.

Then add the kale and the special (tamarind) sauce..

It also says to season this with salt and pepper... I used a dash of soy sauce instead of salt.. 

Now for the soup! It says to use more herbs and soy sauce for the soup, but honestly... I dunno... I don't wanna..  So I had a better idea! I have a bunch of instant miso soups to pick from! I've just actually started learning some japanese recently. I think we've got some dried wakame (seaweed) and um... uh... erm... the packets green. Green flavour.

Here's what it looks like before we add boiling water and stir it around.. and thats the soup sorted! That's everything ready and then we just take the oysters out and assemble them!

Living armor dwarf style stir fry!

Living armor soup! (it sank to the bottom when I put it in)

Grilled living armor!

****

Whoa... I... I did a good job...? This was a really nice varied meal! All the different flavours and scents: miso, seaweed, tamarind, vinegar and soy sauce paired really well with the oysters and eachother. You get a nice range of textures with the slippery seafood, the crunchy stir fry, and the...soupy soup. Compared the the mussels in the stir fry, the oyster was a lot less "meaty" and a little more like.. scallop or something I guess. I suppose im still glad this didn't make enough for leftovers and im not rushing out to buy more oysters any time soon... but as a healthy novelty meal i enjoyed this more than I expected.