Not a Kebab.

Mode: 1-4 player
Hardware: Pan
Accessories: Cola

Ah, the notorious doner kebab. Also known as the shawarma, or gyro. Known at least in this country as the #1 food for punishing your digestive system after a night on the bingewagon. But why does this eastern european entree have to be such a hater? Can't we all just get along? Well I looked up this food on wikipedia, and the fundimental thing that gets the kebab its name is the fact that the meat is taken from big rotisserie kebab pole. I don't have one of those. What I'm making is with made with beef or lamb mince. It's not a kebab I guess. But I don't know what to call it. Reply to me with naming suggestions.

I also made for you an onion chopping tutorial that I learned from Cooking Mama. Here you can see you halve the onion, and then chop thin slices ALMOST all the way to the top, but not quite. That way it holds together when you cut thin slices across on the other axis. making absolutely tiny little onion particles perfect for mince. GENIUS.

Lube up your finest wok, and apply the following: A pack of beef or lamb mince, 2 small (or 1 large) chopped onion, a chopped pepper, and some corn. This is not ready yet obviously because the meat is still pink.

Next I add some Moroccan spice mix I got from somewhere. Find something that claims to go well with red meat and add it.

I think most people would chop up lettuce and raw tomatoes to garnish this, but I don't really like raw tomatoes, so I nominate cucumber instead.

I also like to lightly toast my pita bread, but don't do what I did and toast it too much or else its really hard to jam food in there. Add a relish of your choosing now, I highly reccomend Branston's chilli and jalapeno relish, but ketchup or chutney are good too.

Post-Mortem: Flanders is a fool and seems to eat his without any relish or vegetables. He gets to suffer in dry mince purgatory while I enjoy my HEAVENLY ALTERNATIVE TO A KEBAB. It's healthy and light yet filling, and totally and utterly intestine friendly. If you're one of those aformentioned gyromasochists, consider making a batch of mince before a night out and then come home, microwave it up and stick it in some unleven bread. And then consider curbing your rampant alcoholism. ****