Saturday, 12 March 2011

Vaguely Oriental Style Roast Chicken.

Mode: 2-4 player
Hardware: Oven and Pans
Accessories: Chicken goes with EVERYTHING


Hello, beautiful! Looks like someone spent all morning cleaning you because SOME OTHER TWO FLATMATES can't clean anything in this house FOR SHIT because they are basically worthless and when society crumbles they will be the first to die and I would consider cannibalising them but they actually have no worthwhile nutrition and you couldn't even use their bones for a sweet necklace because they would crumble like biscuit.


Heat your ovens (the literal kind) up to 190, and peel some potatoes and put them on to boil.

Today we are making a somewhat nondescript asian-ish glaze to apply to our roast chicken. I picked olive oil, dark soy sauce, a tablespoon of honey, chinese 5 spice and ground ginger. If i had a lemon or orange I'd jam it in the chicken-hole (man you know what im talking about) but I don't so I put a sprig of parsley in there as some sort of pathetic desperate offering to the gods of roast chicken.


Now we get to paint the chicken. Myes you see we have an oil based paint with rather broad, expressive strokes. They emphasize a sentiment of hunger and the rich colours of burnt umber and sienna bring a warm aromatic atmosphere. The artist was clearly a genius. Hon Hon Hon.


To go with this chicken I make a simple potato and spinach stamppot (that is dutch for mash with veggies mixed in). It's a great way to jam in some healthiness with next to no effort.


An hour and a half later and lets have a peek in the oven! Oh my! Sorry ma'am I didn't notice you were in there. (I was going to say more things but it got a bit weird so I deleted. It's a dead chicken, after all.)


Post-Chickeny-Mortem: And there you have it. Simple and delicious. Not really wholesome though because towards the end of this review I started drafting words about hot chicken nudity like I have no respect for the dead. This chicken was Devonshire red, man, that's my home county. This chicken is like family. Thanks for being so delicious, chicken. You get 5 stars. *****

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