I won't arborio with the details.

Mode: 1-2 Player
Hardware: Pan
Accessories: Lady Grey Tea

I was going to make a nice mushroom risotto with some mushrooms that I had in the fridge but TWIST they were mouldy.

Sad mushroomy grave.

:'(

I could eat nasty sainsbury's seafood mix EVERY DINNER.

So I had to improvise with whatever else I had. Seafood mix, carrots and beans, half an onion, sweetcorn and of course the risotto rice.

Casually stealing Flander's sandwich materials as usual.

Lots of soy spread, garlic and finely chopped parsley. I melt the butter over the rice before I add the water incrementally.

Not necessary if you aren't this bored.

This is a finely chopped up vegetable stock cube. That also goes in.

Broth it like it's hot. Broth it like it's hot.

Here I add the water and the other vegetables. You can kinda leave it for a while but keep coming back to stir and add more water when it gets soaked up.

The mug says 'PIG'.

Now is a good time to make a cup of tea! I like lady grey tea. Did you know that bergamot tea was invented to offset the nasty taste of northern hard water? FUN FACT.

Grains before prawn.

Once it was nearly ready, I added the pre-cooked seafood mix and frozen sweetcorn and stirred it in for a bit till it had warmed up.

Weeaboo chopsticks not necessary either.

Post-mortem: **** I enjoy this, I enjoy risotto in general, but I also like that 'seafoody' taste that a lot of people really don't like. Some seafood dishes I make are great because they don't taste 'fishy' in that way, but this one really really does. So... uh... yknow... to each his own... different strokes.. and uh.. keep watching the skies.

That's what sushi said!

Mode: 4 Player
Hardware: Pan, Steamer, Sushi rolling accessories.
Accessories: Vodka and 7up.

I went out on a magical journey to Manchester and brought back a fellow warrior, EMERALD SAGE who loves the animals, but not so much on a plate. I wanted to show her my awesome ability to make vegetarian sushi. And also non-vegetarian sushi. Oh, also noodles.

Segregated for their own benefit.

We delegated a sidequest to her Bee-Eff to pick us up some food items while I prepared some sushi rice in the steamer. In the mean time, I got bored and started chopping vegetables for it. So far all I got is pickled beetroot and mangetout.

I'm still suspicious about whether or not bayleafs do anything.

Prepared a noodle soup stock thing to cook the noodles in. Cant really remember what I put in this. Lotsa soy sauce, some bean paste, salt and pepper, a bit of coriander and ginger I think?

Ramen-Ra, appointed by his noodly appendage.

Noodles go in! I'm gonna try juggling cooking noodles with making sushi and hope I don't burn anything.

Also booze. Hi mum!

Hooray! Our buddy has returned with the goods we require to continue. We've got prawns, salmon, spring onion, shiitake mushrooms, a cucumber.

Yes everyone, that is a Duckula egg cup.

Here's the set-up I handed to Emerald Sage, I taught her how to roll sushi nori.

...filled with vinegar.

You get the seaweed wrap, put the rice and fillings all on one edge, like so...

This is how we roll.

Then you roll it up using the bamboo mat to aid your evenness and grip, and seal the end by moistening it with some rice vinegar. You then chop it with the sharpest knife you can find. Good luck with that, though.

Since the salmon we got was uncooked fillets and not smoked, I stuck that in the steamer for a while while we made the vegetarian rolls.

Cooked the shiitake out of them.

Here's the noodles cooking well, they get spring onions, mangetout and shiitake mushrooms. I was gonna fry them separately to put on top, but I ended up nearly burning them so I mixed them in the noodles instead.

The game genie of cooking.

Here's another way to roll sushi things... in a funky little sushi roller gadget! Doesn't work so great with seaweed though.

Still quicker than making a pie.

I then assembled all our creations, and as you can see for comparison, a vegetarian and non-vegetarian meal side by side.

Post-Mortem: ***** Looks snazzy. Tastes snazzy, vegetables or non. I love me some sushi. I think the others liked it too.

Prawn and Chickpea Rogan Josh

Mode: 2-4 player
Hardware: Pans, Steamer
Accessories: Big glass of.. whatever.

I decided to take a break from pork because that would be boring and it's in the freezer anyway, and come up with something relatively new. So I made prawn and chickpea curry. I started by putting some brown rice in the steamer to cook for a while.

Then I got this wadge of frozen prawns that have been in my freezer for ag-... huh... have I seen you somewhere before? Somewhere... Castlevania-y?

Holy shit!

Anyway.

Fried red onion, red pepper and carrots. This meal is going to be pretty red.

Once that was browned, I added the prawns, pre-cooked(?) chickpeas and some pre-made rogan josh curry sauce, because shut up I'm tired.

Here is what it looks like mixed together. WOWEE. Sorry, I'm writing this up at 10am.

Post-Mortem: **** Delicious! Go me. And also go patak's brand dairy free curry sauces, but mostly me.

Unwholesome Prawn Obsession.

Mode: Single Player
Hardware: Pan
Accessories: Water

Looks like it's just me left alone this evening to tackle the rest of these discount prawns in my freezer. I cooould make what I made with the first batch the other day. But where is the glamour? Instead of chilli, i'm going lemony.

This time my team is a bunch of spring onion, a single lonely carrot, small pack of noodles, this jar of peking lemon sauce, and I thought it might go well with shredded cabbage, but I don't have any cabbage, all I have is this grody old lettuce which I will dissect for salvagable bits.

OK so it's a stir fry. You must get the basics of that by now. Chop everything into little bits, throw in pan, stir and play pokemon for 10 minutes, eat.

Post-Mortem: I guess this is looking a little familliar, frankly. Like almost identical to a previous post. Well, I am a real person who buys real ingredients that tend to last a few meals. Next week, I promise I will totally do something thats not a stir fry. What? I don't know yet. PS this tastes real good. It's a lemon party in m- SORRY. ****